No Matter How Bad Your Day Was…

…It Wasn’t This Bad

In one version of the events, Al-Arabiya, a Saudi-owned television network, said the attacker concealed the explosives in his anus, allowing him to evade detection. The network also quoted an expert as saying that the method of concealment aimed the blast away from the target, while blowing the bomber to bits.

I wonder if his last words were “Pull my finger, you tyrant!” ?

Source: Yahoo! News

When you’re looking for a place to rob, a bar full of surly bikers is probably not the best choice – particularly if you’re only armed with machetes and knives. Otherwise, you might get beaten with chairs and tables and hog-tied with electrical wire, or tackled after leaping through a plate glass window trying to escape.

Source: CNN – thanks to adam again for the link.

No, I mean really, a 16′ python ate an Australian family’s dog, while their two young children watched. And you thought having your pet hit by a car was rough.

Source: CNN – thanks to adam for the link

A concert violinist tripped and landed on his priceless Stradivarius violin, crushing it. It will cost £60,000 to repair and may never sound the same again. As a musician, I have to sympathize with the guy on this one, we’ve all dropped or banged our instruments and this is definitely a worst nightmare with a beauty of an instrument like that!

Source: Fark

Bad: Woman smokes crack and gets behind the wheel of her car. Worse: she runs several red lights and causes a horrendous car crash. WTF: bystanders steal vitcim’s purse while she crawls to her crying children who are hanging upside down in the flipped-over vehicle.

Sometimes, you see or hear things that make you lose all faith in humanity. And then you realize they can be much worse than that.

Source: Fark

Since I’ve gotten exactly two real comments about approximately 200 spam comments, I’ve officially decided that there’s no point in allowing comments on NMHB. Thanks once again to the spam community for ruining things for others.

Bringing a new meaning to the term “utility knife” a NC man has accused of circumcising two of his 11 children at home with his utility knife. The man, Johnny Marlowe, who lived a “polygamist lifestyle”, claims to have circumcised 3 of his sons himself. He is also serving time for assaulting his wife and neglecting his children.

“Everybody has their own opinion,” Marlowe is quoted as saying during a jailhouse interview in November.

Yeah. I’ll say…

Source: Fark

As a married man, I find it difficult to imagine something scarier than your wife having an allergic reaction to medication that causes her throat to close up and her body to swell. Unless of course, the police pulled you of the car at gunpoint while you tried to get her to the hospital, assuming you must have beaten her to cause the swelling.

Source: Fark

BERLIN (Reuters) – A 21-year-old German man has been convicted of sending a photograph of his penis to an unknown woman via mobile phone, authorities said on Wednesday.

“We all had a bit of a laugh when we saw the thing,” said Christian Kropp, presiding judge at the court in the eastern town of Sondershausen.

‘Nuff said.

Source: Fark

Bringing a whole new meaning to the term “hanging out at the park”, a man is recovering in a hospital (lucky slob) after an attempt to film a “mock hanging” got a little too realistic. The man and a friend were filming a fake hanging stunt – it seems almost needless to point out that of course, neither of them were trained stuntmen – when the harness failed and the man ended up actually hanging from the noose.

Source: Reuters